Tuesday, September 13, 2011

My Half of Two Cents: Random Thoughts From a Real Life Dummy

Change: Change is hard because it’s made of metal. Oh, the other kind of change is hard too.

Fundamentalism: Condemning people with scripture is probably not a good idea unless your name is Isaiah, Paul, or Jesus. And if your name is Isaiah, Paul, or Jesus I was talking about someone else.

Football: Thank you for existing and being the only good American sport left. And by “good American sport” I meant “sport”.

Liberal Theology: If your spiritual truth finds its value primarily in metaphor that is ravenously devoid of absolutes then thanks for saving the planet and feeding poor people.


Football: Fantasy Football is my new algebra. I try it again each year and never quite get it. Fail.

Tiger Woods: Congratulations on proving right everything the book of Proverbs says.

Preaching: That burdensome joy! You demand my all, get less than I have to give and yet out produce even more than you demanded.

Marriage: Isn’t it fitting that something so good and worth it would be so damn hard? And yet we are surprised by this.

Church: If it’s a drag then I apologize for the people like me who have not tended her well.

Fatherhood: If I get all else wrong, Lord, let it not be this.

Horror Movies: Since when did you start to be PG 13? Shame on you, jerk.

Excellence: Pursue it. But by all means, don’t achieve it on your own behalf. That’s just arrogance.

Mediocrity: If you are mediocre at something you enjoy- then enjoy it. Just don’t do it publically. Your
passion does not upgrade your mediocrity.

That's all folks!